Is it acceptable for a lady to still have, and sleep with, numerous stuffed animals even though she is over 30?
I'm not talking having them only up on a shelf in her room..i'm talking waking up after a sleepover and finding a talking ALF stuffed animal from the 80's by your crotch because she decided during the night she "no longer wanted to snuggle with it". Like it's acceptable that it got lost in the tossing and turning during the night?! I find it odd that some woman need to still display them on their beds and snuggle with them during the night just because that is "what they have always done" since they were 5. What do you think?
Dude, sounds like you might have more than your bargaining for. It is one thing to have a cute stuffed animal or some kidrobot toys on the shelves or bed. . . but it’s a whole different story if there are more than just a few. Unless she’s holding onto Chatty Cathy, Glow Worm, Alf, Teddy Ruxpin, Raggedy Ann, and a 1959 Barbie, for ebay purposes, than I’d say there’s more to it. A LOT MORE TO IT.
Coming from a psychological stand-point this situation may represent some form of psychological/emotional trauma or attachment that manifested itself during her childhood. Particularly in your case, the form of a stuffed animal. Have you ever asked her about when she started collecting stuffed animals? Chances are she will say it was during her childhood. And before you go even further, depending on how well you know her, you may want to ask if she’s ever experienced an emotionally traumatic event. Not trying to scare you, but this could be anything from the death or loss of a family member, an accident, a frightening experience, molestation, or even rape. Hate to say it buddy. Yeah, getting serious. But before you get scared off by the unknown, educate yourself!
When a person undergoes a traumatic event they tend to find a coping mechanism. The coping mechanism becomes hardwired into our brains to help us deal with the event so we can make light of it and move forward. Some techniques are positive, and others are negative. It can be both nature vs nurture. But the biggest factor in finding a positive coping mechanism is age. Age plays a huge factor in this. If a person is older chances are they learned techniques that are considered socially acceptable. But if something happens to let’s say a 5 year old child, chances are they haven’t learned much in life, so they develop maladaptive coping skills (i.e. sucking thumbs, collections, toys, blankets, tics/habits, etc.) The bad part about maladaptive skills is that it takes a lot to break out of them. She probably never went to seek therapy or professional help, so she continued to use this technique throughout her life. The toys trigger a sensation of calm, or maybe even excitement. They might represent the person she lost and refuses to give up and let go of. Each toy may even represent a different event in her life. Once again hate to say it, but ever hear about those girls who underwent years of psychological or physical abuse? Yeah. It could be that too. Who knows. Every situation is different, but generally lead to the same reasoning. Who knows how it works for her. It’s something you’ll have to ask her.
I’d like to say that this could also possibly be a fetish. She could very well be into plushies and furries conventions, and may even hint that she gets off from the fabric and feelings the stuffed animals give to her. Who knows. This is something you’re going to have to confront at some point. Personally I believe everyone has a fetish of some sort… sexually speaking. This may be hers. Or maybe she just has a die-hard fan for stuffed animals. This is something you’re just going to have to look into. But if it is a fetish, just be glad this one is rated-G. There really are some taboo fetishes out there that could be a lot worse.
Try looking around her place. See is she hoards items. See if she keeps her living situations up to par with hygiene. If she collects stuffed animals, that might be a relief considering that there are worse things in this life to worry about. Try watching A&E’s Hoarders. Those people are batshit crazy, but at the same time I completely get it, and feel nothing but sorry for them because they never got the help they needed. If you believe this girl you’re seeing may have some problems, you might want to help her seek professional assistance. Good luck with this one.
Another Point of ViewPosted by Nick
Dude. The reason I find this as funny as I do is that I can totally sympathize with you. My ex was the SAME FUCKING WAY!!!
I mean, I get it...some chiquita bananas have a stuffed animal in their room somewhere or even on their bed, regardless of their age. That's totally acceptable. Hell. Even the girl I'm dating has a bunch of random stuffed animals in her room that occasionally find their way on to her bed. HOWEVER...once the business gets going or even if we're simply laying down to pass the fuck out after a sushi food coma, those things get tossed to the side like a bad habit. Mainly, because that's what they are: a habit that she hasn't broken since she was 5.
Would she expect you to be cool with her pissing the bed every night because she simply didn't break that habit from 25 years ago? Are you supposed to take it in stride that she picks her nose and rubs it on her sheets? HELL NO! I'm telling you man, watch out. This girl sounds like she's got some deep seeded emotional issues duder. Which leads me back to my point about my ex...
She was the same way. Tons of retarded stuffed animals in her bed...which by the way, was conveniently located in her parents house...which by the way, was conveniently in the same room for 30 years. Yup. She was 30, living at home, and had a bed full of fuckin' stuffed animals...DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! (please reference Season 1, Episode 12 "...And Now You Don't" for further explanation of her psycho-ness...which shall be further detailed in future episodes to come!).
Anyways, needless to say, that didn't end well. And she would always insist on sleeping with them when I was in bed too...so I feel your pain my brotha!
My advice to you: lay out an ultimatum. Tell her you're uncomfortable with that ish. If she's not cool with it, then split...simple as that. Trust me, you'll thank me later when you don't have to deal with her knocking out your roommates girlfriend then threatening to drive her car off a bridge...because yeah, THAT HAPPENED!!!
Happy dumping! :D